The Dangers of Allowing your Child to Read the Classics

It’s just one book.

She probably won’t even like it. Aren’t the classics boring?

It’s just a phase. He’ll outgrow it.

They aren’t addictive…

These justifications, and more, have often led unwary parents to let their children read a seemingly innocuous book, such as The Odyssey, Don Quixote, or The Pilgrim’s Progress.

DO NOT BE DECEIVED! Allowing your child to read just one classic may not seem like such a big deal, but it is the gateway to horrors unspeakable, such as: questioned assumptions, logophilia, thoughtfulness, and painful questions that may not have answers. It can cause your child to devour classics with ever-growing voracity until they eventually become an avid reader, an amateur poet, a budding novelist, or, worst of all, a lit major.

A literature major.

You’ve seen them. Talking about Dante in hushed circles, reading in public rather than socializing, infecting the minds of the children with stories… At all costs, keep your children away from them.

If you hope for your child to have any sort of normality, keep him or her far away from the classics.

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Categories: Light-heartedness, Snapshots | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “The Dangers of Allowing your Child to Read the Classics

  1. ebransom

    “Oh NO! We have ruined each of our children.” – your dad.
    I like that I have to tell my kids to stop reading and _______________.
    “Except our 10-yr old at 11:00 pm” – dad again

  2. Sure, save your children for normality…we lit majors will take this insanity over any “normal.” Can’t wait to be part of the group up there!

    • crazysarah

      I’m with you Keaghan! Let’s give up normalcy! Don Quixote was so much cooler than the “normal” kids! I want to be like him!

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