Love is Scary, 5

“In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God”

For now, I will be focusing on Sarah, because she is who God used at this period.

At PHC, we take a Theology class. This meant that I had to read books about the character of God. If you remember, I had been avoiding this. God decided I was done with that. Our professor assigned a worksheet, a short paper of sorts, on two of the attributes of God. So I had to read the assigned book.

Before I continue, there is background information you need. Sarah has a refrain to her life. She will do things, and be so overcome that she just yells, ‘Jesus is awesome!’ This forced me to see the things that God was doing in my life, behind my back, as it were. I did not particularly like this, but I didn’t have a choice.

Jesus is awesome.

So I sat, and read a book about the infinite, unchanging, endless, relentless¬†love of God. And wept. And wrote, through a veil of tears, about the ramifications of God’s infinity.

An infinite God has infinite resources, and He could chase me forever. And He was not going to give up. I could flee forever, I could descend to the very pits of humanity, and He would still find me. I could accomplish everything I desired, and try and hide myself in familiarity, become a faceless church member, and still He would find me. I could no longer keep Him out.

So I gave up.

And I sat on the floor and cried and cried, because it hurt so much, but it was exactly what I needed.

I was the sheep who had gone astray, whose legs were broken.

I was the faithless lover, who leaves time and time again.

I was the petulant child, who wants the way that will bring nothing but pain.

But He mended me, and brought me back, and overwhelmed me with Himself.

And I gave in to the fury of beauty and love.

To be continued.

Categories: My testimony, The story | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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