Love is Scary, 3

Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I’m tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up”

I knew the moment I heard of them that I would be attending Patrick Henry. There was never any doubt in my mind. My mother encouraged me to apply to other colleges, so I did, but I thought that it was pointless.

I would be attending Patrick Henry.

From that point, my life was fixed on becoming worthy to attend, on impressing the people at the college, on being prepared. I took classes at community college, I learned a new language, I tried to get a job. I had to get into that college.

And I did. And I got a scholarship.

This kind of threw me, to be perfectly honest. I needed the scholarship, but I did not think that I deserved it. I chalked it up to the grace of God, and went back to preparing. I said that phrase so often, “the grace of God.” It did not occur to me that accepting His grace meant that I was letting Him back into my life. For the first time I can remember, I succeeded in lying to myself.

Many people helped me in my preparations, and said they would pray for me. I accepted their prayers. I did not notice, but God was squeezing through the cracks I was leaving in my shell, and opening them wider and wider.

Then I learned about my future roommates at college.

To be continued.

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Categories: My testimony, The story | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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