I’d rather be a fool

Simply more than I can see
How He keeps on forgiving me
How He keeps His sanity
Hosea, you’re a fool

A fool to love someone like me
A fool to suffer silently
But sometimes through your eyes I see
I’d rather be a fool

–Michael Card, Song of Gomer (excerpt)

Sometimes, I find myself in quandaries of my own making. For instance, right now I am sitting in my dorm where I was planning on being depressed this weekend. It’s not like I have a huge problem; actually, compared to the real problems that we (my roommates and I) have, it’s laughable to even call it a problem. But it seemed big to me. Big enough to spend an entire Saturday moping about it.

And then I got up. The first thing I did after checking the weather was to get on Facebook (it’s the weekend, Pharisees) and see if there was more fodder for moping. The first thing I saw was that my aunt had just had her baby. Not conducive to moping. The second thing was a classmate posting “Rejoice without ceasing.”

It’s going to be one of those days, isn’t it?

Then I went to breakfast, where I played with a precious little future man and was encouraged by my poor longsuffering roommate. And also had cinnamon hot chocolate.

I have problems. I don’t want to be happy today. And I would have rejected God’s gifts and continued in my determined depression. But I got back to the dorm, put on my headphones, and Song of Gomer started playing. It is going to be one of those days.

God loves me. To the point where most people would call Him a fool and tell Him to write me off. Yet He doesn’t. It’s more than I can understand. I would write me off. But He still loves me. And I would rather be His fool and happy than hold on to my dignity and tattered shroud of pride. So today, I will give up my grudge and my mopeyness and I will praise Him through the joys He gives me.

Peace be upon you.

UPDATE: At lunch I got to kill zombies with said future man. It was epic. That is all.

Categories: Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “I’d rather be a fool

  1. Oh, I know how this feels. When all you want to do is be upset, be depressed…and for some reason, He just won’t let you. 🙂 And, in the moment, you might even be upset with Him because He won’t…in the end, though, I’m so glad He doesn’t.

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